Have been putting this off
Jan. 29th, 2010 02:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gracedpalmerWell, it's January, and while the ungodly cold weather has brought the sun back, I'm beginning to feel the loss of the happiness stores pretty keenly.
Motivation is low, but not actually as low as it was during the great darkness around the solstice. What is increasing is anxiety level. General self satisfaction continues to decrease, and I'm having fits about my new gig over very minor things. I spent a little while this morning paralyzed because every conceivable writing topic was just too difficult to get into a format the editors would accept. When I edit before submission, everything looks like an error that will spark a rewrite request. This is due in part to some real inconsistency on the part of the copy editors, but if it were July, I wouldn't take it this hard. Got my work in, nonetheless, though less than I'd ideally like. Still above quota for getting the bills paid.
Also having fits over art, which have taken the form of "you'll never be any good anyway." This is not unexpected, but annoying. Have been very lonely, due in part to the dark and the cold encouraging folks to stay away, in part to some real issues, and in large part (probably) to crazy. Have read a few books. Should review, may get around to it eventually. Feel like quitting reenactment.
Naught that can be done about it, but the charting is important. Acquired dance pad for computer, and am trying StepMania as a method of exercise. So far, so good, but the people who put together step charts for fun are entirely mad. Also, I may have discovered why most DDR type music is techno. Airship Pirates is much weirder to dance to in this format.
Motivation is low, but not actually as low as it was during the great darkness around the solstice. What is increasing is anxiety level. General self satisfaction continues to decrease, and I'm having fits about my new gig over very minor things. I spent a little while this morning paralyzed because every conceivable writing topic was just too difficult to get into a format the editors would accept. When I edit before submission, everything looks like an error that will spark a rewrite request. This is due in part to some real inconsistency on the part of the copy editors, but if it were July, I wouldn't take it this hard. Got my work in, nonetheless, though less than I'd ideally like. Still above quota for getting the bills paid.
Also having fits over art, which have taken the form of "you'll never be any good anyway." This is not unexpected, but annoying. Have been very lonely, due in part to the dark and the cold encouraging folks to stay away, in part to some real issues, and in large part (probably) to crazy. Have read a few books. Should review, may get around to it eventually. Feel like quitting reenactment.
Naught that can be done about it, but the charting is important. Acquired dance pad for computer, and am trying StepMania as a method of exercise. So far, so good, but the people who put together step charts for fun are entirely mad. Also, I may have discovered why most DDR type music is techno. Airship Pirates is much weirder to dance to in this format.
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 12:46 am (UTC)I hope you have fun with this. And if you want a copy of Rush's "Dreamline" for StepMania, I can probably arrange it.
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Date: 2010-01-30 01:05 am (UTC)I am enjoying this way more than most other exercise options.
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Date: 2010-01-30 01:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 04:52 am (UTC)