The Monkey And The Plywood Violin

1. Surgeon is definitely overcautious. I can eat around 2 to 3 grams of fat per meal without any issues whatsoever. This still keeps me from actually eating almost any prepared food, but makes things suck a little less.

2. Kava kava is a fail for me. Does not reduce anxiety, has bonus of making me woozy and sick.

3. The weather is fantastic and I want to frolic in it forever. I might, however, need to place a new Sock Dreams order.

4. Serious self worth problems of late. Attempting to fix them via ripping apart my closet and throwing a lot of stuff away. Am avoiding thinking about the enormous amount of work I have queued for next week.

5. Have eaten more cocoa krispies than appropriate. Send milk.

Because I had what appeared to be the very worst case of heartburn, for about 8 hours straight. Apparently the real issue was in fact gallstones. I don't have any kind of infection or anything, so they would like me to avoid fat in general until I can get surgery. As I am a freelancer, that's not going to be until the ACA insurance kicks in during January.

Till then, it's going to be a lot like all those ill-advised fat free diets during the 90s. This could be tricksy, because basically everything I eat is on the "no" list.

Currently: Groggy and wobbly, almost like I was in the ER till 5 am and then put on Vicoden. Interesting discovery of the night: Morphine makes me wobbly, but otherwise does not work on me. Will be working from bed today.

Slept for 11+ hours, terrible dreams, but could totally go right back. It is only willpower that keeps me out of the snoozenest. Soon it will be willpower and coffee.

Floormate from across the building is moving to across the hall. The area in front of my apartment is now full of lazy cats. Now! Off to stare at some writing, wish I were painting, and avoid spending the day either in bed or playing games. Hack, hack, wheeze.

I need my energy back. The temperature outside is glorious and soon it will not be. I need to be going walkies!

1. I am very tired. I blame this in part on moving stress, in part on the greyness, and in part on how bad my sleep has been lately. No insomnia, no nightmares, but plenty of stress dreams. Also a bit on frustration at several difficult to alter situations that are rather important, and at people treating my friends badly.

2. My rat is sick. Vanya has been losing weight and seeming anti-social for a while, but I thought it was because Petya was routinely bullying him and the Romans kept stealing his food. Fighting started early last night and Vanya got moved to his very own cage. When I woke up this morning, he was lethargic, hadn't eaten and didn't object to me picking him up. One vet visit later, I have the standard cocktail of Baytril and Doxycycline, which he's to get 2x day for the next two weeks. I hope that it works; sick rats tend to improve significantly or go downhill fast, with little to no middle ground.

3. I did no real work today. It really seems as though I ought to feel guiltier about that, but see #s 1 and 2. Also, I did just finish a giant job last night and am something like 3/4 of a week ahead, reduced slightly after rat expenditure. Hopefully I will perk up a bit this evening. There are light bulbs to change out, floors to scrub, dishes to stuff in boxes. M minus 4 days.

4. Sweater coat is well underway. I've managed to get the skirt lining 1/3 finished, which sounds less impressive than it is. This coat will have a double-circle skirt and all the pieces are hand-hemmed, then whipped together, because the fabric in that construction fails before the stitches do and I want this thing to last forever. Am terribly afraid that my aesthetic sense is going to demand the chevron pattern on the outside. It would look lovely, but take a gazillion years. Will post design drawings when i figure out what the heck I want.

5. I am pretty sure I have done permanent damage to my face. When I look in the mirror I have pretty much textbook rosacea, down to the strange proto-acne. I am lucky in that my case is currently very mild and localized to the center and outside of my cheeks. However, this is a progressive condition that you can't make better. Controlling the damage is about the best option and the best way to do that is by keeping the skin unflushed and unirritated. For the past four or five years I've also been having weird mini-fever things that turn me pink, elevate my temperature slightly, make me tired and anxious and produce back pain. These happen semi-weekly, daily on occasion. Still not sure why, currently investigating possible food intolerance. So that's fun.

I have cleaned more things in the past few days; if only I knew how to make myself do it for me rather than out of shame/fear. Apartment was shown today and I think the person applied for it, so possibly no more showings, just maintenance guys. Feeling very wibbly about that because I haven't really convinced myself that I get the new apartment, so having people in to see the current one leaves me with the vague feeling that I'll have nowhere to live.

Loving spring, though a little terrified A. of what summer will be like and B. for the world in general if Wisconsin gets proper spring halfway through March. Most of the time, April means more random snow. Recently finished dealing with a couple of clothing projects that were languishing.

( Vietnamese dragon embroidered over rip in skirt )
( Froofy 1950s Apron )

( And this is a rat  )

I have a cold, and am also in a weird place with today's work where I am totally allowed to stop, but really should not. I am looking forward to living somewhere potentially brighter.

I...just made coffee without putting any coffee in the pot. Oh, week, please spare me.

The weather is not being kind to me. This week has seen a mood drop, an increase in generalized feverishness and assorted sick, and a constant headache that have almost eliminated the extra work I did last week. I am at least improved over yesterday, however.

Also in the land of weird dilemmas/happy things: I got a 12" Cintiq. It is beautiful and wonderful and it makes drawing a lot faster. Tests later today to figure out just how much faster, but it'll mean I won't have to put together the design digitally, then print it out because of the imprecision of my tablet, draw on the printout in pencil, scan it in, repeat ad nauseum.

There is a catch, however. You see, my computer is very, very old. The case is probably 10 years old, the motherboard and video card six. Other components are variously aged. The Cintiq is made to run as a dual monitor, but only if you have a graphics card new and nice enough to include two outputs. I can currently use it by itself, but it is not really big enough to handle writing or watching movies or any of the other things I like to do at the same time as drawing. Also, I have this huge farking monitor here that needs to be used.

So, given the age of the entire computer, I am faced with a dilemma. Do I find a graphics card that will work on my antiquated motherboard and squeak by for a little while longer, or do I move up that whole-computer rebuild I have been considering for ages but didn't want to do right this minute?

The proper thing to do would be the rebuild, but it's a complete rebuild, and it's gotten pretty hard for me to track computer hardware of late. Also, that's really quite expensive and more than I was planning to spend just now. Mr. Cintiq was spendy enough. I could buy a new comp outright, but I'm a control nut and that sets my teeth on edge a bit. I am unsure. Perhaps I just need to find my momentum and write a whole damned lot. The accountant does like it when I buy things I can write off.

For now, back to trying to make coffee and something for lunch. The theme of all my meals for the past 14 hours or so seems to be "whee, peanut sauce!" At least keeping the wok hot means that it's not quite so cold in here.

The weather change we've got going on round here (and it's not going to get nicer anytime soon) has my immune system in blargh mode. I can tell this by the number of minor bacterial colonies my body is currently harboring. Cold sore? Check. Ache in cracked tooth (it's been there for years, it'll need a root canal some day, but naught that can be done save that)? Check. Ear piercings I've had for 20 years aching? Check. Plus, I've got my usual transitional season ailment, a sort of very mild respiratory infection that saps my energy and sometimes brings on feverish mood swings and sudden sleeptasticness. Zzzzzz.

Clearly, this is why I need to make garlic pierogie for tomorrow night's dinner, and possibly have some tom yum with copious amounts of lime juice this evening. Mm, limes.

In other news, today's burd is giving me fits, because I've got to paint iridescence, and then I've got to try to make it scan. The result should be both glorious and gaudy. I've also been out to savor today's thin sunlight, and bought myself supplies for Samhain. Pumpkins, Gruyere and heavy cream do an amazing soup make. The market also had some local apples in varieties I didn't recognize, so I'm keen to try those out, even if apples aren't usually my thing. They are delightfully ugly, which makes them appealing in a way that perfect, huge round apples can never be.

But first! The laundry.

Ah, the glamourous life of an artist/writer.

On Tuesday, I fell prey to the most evil of stomach flus I've had in a long while. On Wednesday I was still limpy and sad.( Read more... )

It's loopy time again! I seem to be going through another of my periods of very mild illness - enough to impair daily function, but not enough to qualify as really sick. This is irritating, as I must get on a plane tomorrow, and have things to do before then. Being able to stand and do other things in a non-wobbly manner would, for instance, be of great help in my quest to get this well-overdue print matted and mailed. Plus, there is writing to be done before I head airportward.

We recently received a truly amazing Chinese menu here, in other news. A great deal of it is in Chinese, and the portions that are in English promise excursions into the culinary unknown. Just what is "Color To Fu" or "Boiling Radish?" If I am functional for driving tonight, we may go investigate. Thrills, terror, soy sauce!

And, since I haven't anything new to report on the project front, we'll delve into some of that old random research, and bring you ( A short treatise on the many kinds of soy sauce )