gracedpalmer: (Default)
Generalized pain level is pretty damned high today, so I write this in lieu of a real post.

Ow.

Too late

Jun. 7th, 2017 11:17 am
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Well, I definitely missed posting yesterday. Also failed at doing any unicorn drawing, since I started losing my oomph around 7 pm and then a migraine hit. Didn't remember that either existed till about midnight or so.

In actual accomplishments: another job app in for Mere, flats done on my current commission plus some flailing at a background, and two whole posts to Instagram without choking. My family has turned up on there, which is a matter of some consternation. Thankfully it's a feed I already self-censor on pretty heavily. Just a reminder to keep some pseudonymous accounts, I guess! (I wonder from time to time if I ought to pseudonym this one again, but I think that might only be a matter for concern if regular posting continues.

As I've become a more chronically ouchy person, weather has become a greater concern for me, and that's part of why I've run away from the midwest. Nevertheless, today's high is 20 degrees more than tomorrow's. I am not yet feeling it in the head regions, but fibro wants me to know it is here. Also, it possibly wants me to sleep for a week. I am going to try not to let it, cause there is work to be done!

Today, hopefully: One or more unicorn busts, lights and shadows in on Mithras, a round of work-at-home job research. Who knows if I'll succeed?!
gracedpalmer: (Default)
It's still technically Saturday here, so this post is legitimate. I don't know if I'll actually write something every day, but it does seem like a good way to reduce my overall scaredness level.

Accomplishments: showed girlfriend how to clean a foundation brush (turns out it's the same as cleaning a paintbrush, mostly). Finished some sketches for my current commission, got my primary client to pick one out.

Health status: Mild headache, mild crazy, ankle still broken, fibro level: gentle fever and sore extremities. All in all, pretty good for me.

Happy things: still enjoying the validation of getting sketches done. Other girlfriend cooked me a very large frozen lasagna. Chocolate muffin for breakfast.

One week till the doctor tells me when I'm allowed to walk again.

Take that!

Apr. 11th, 2014 12:08 pm
gracedpalmer: (Default)
At long last, and after many travails, I am finally sans gallbladder. Now I just have to wait for my belly to heal up and then deal with the tooth that randomly decided to die the night before surgery.

It's been an April.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I have a habit of only posting on my livejournal when things are going pretty badly, because I am at home then and want to keep track of things. But right now a lot of stuff is going much better than it has been for a while.

1. I think I finally won brain-meds roulette. It seems that I have pretty bad luck with psych medications and their side effects. ie: Wellbutrin, which ought to be the best one for folks who have depression plus anxiety plus attention issues, made me cry for a week straight back in '04. Effexor made me loopy, panicky, sick, so tense it was painful, and briefly suicidal. A normal dose of Lexapro (10 mg) turns me into an emotionally numb sexless insomniac who can't be bothered to eat, has the attention span of a gnat, and freaks out every time someone slams the door.

No meds were causing me to constantly worry about whether getting ticketed or whether everyone hated me, plus doing anything took gobs of effort. Cutting my dose to 5 mg against the suggestion of my (moderately incompetent) psych has thus far allowed me to be a mildly distractable person with a lot more energy. I washed and hung up my laundry this morning without a half hour break in between. I had a terrible day on Sunday and it hasn't ruined the rest of the week. I'm still not highly functional, but I haven't been this clear-headed in years. I am suspicious...

2. I've done more art this year than I have in yonks. This is largely due to having a very enthusiastic commissioner, but it's still been really nice. There are many issues that I still have to deal with (indecision and fear when doing anything that's not a commission keep me paralyzed) but for once it feels like I might be able to do something about that.

3. Slowly developing the rudiments of a social life. Awkwardly and mostly as a peripheral to other people's, but when I do go out, much less time is devoted to being terrified and convinced everybody wants me to go away. Also no crying afterward!

4. Trying to turn into more of a positive person that people can actually like. Focusing on the negative is easier and safer, but positive people are more fun and have more fun. This is a long haul, but having a little more energy makes it easier to actually pay attention to how I am phrasing stuff.

5. This is much less important, but I have tiny rats. They are adorable and almost big enough to put into the cage with the big boys (they need to get fat enough not to fit between the bars first). Living things are pretty cool. Also very sniffy.

I am still basically a hobbit and it is still winter, but maybe this year's hibernation can be a happy one and not that of an angry badger.

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