gracedpalmer: (Default)
I have a habit of only posting on my livejournal when things are going pretty badly, because I am at home then and want to keep track of things. But right now a lot of stuff is going much better than it has been for a while.

1. I think I finally won brain-meds roulette. It seems that I have pretty bad luck with psych medications and their side effects. ie: Wellbutrin, which ought to be the best one for folks who have depression plus anxiety plus attention issues, made me cry for a week straight back in '04. Effexor made me loopy, panicky, sick, so tense it was painful, and briefly suicidal. A normal dose of Lexapro (10 mg) turns me into an emotionally numb sexless insomniac who can't be bothered to eat, has the attention span of a gnat, and freaks out every time someone slams the door.

No meds were causing me to constantly worry about whether getting ticketed or whether everyone hated me, plus doing anything took gobs of effort. Cutting my dose to 5 mg against the suggestion of my (moderately incompetent) psych has thus far allowed me to be a mildly distractable person with a lot more energy. I washed and hung up my laundry this morning without a half hour break in between. I had a terrible day on Sunday and it hasn't ruined the rest of the week. I'm still not highly functional, but I haven't been this clear-headed in years. I am suspicious...

2. I've done more art this year than I have in yonks. This is largely due to having a very enthusiastic commissioner, but it's still been really nice. There are many issues that I still have to deal with (indecision and fear when doing anything that's not a commission keep me paralyzed) but for once it feels like I might be able to do something about that.

3. Slowly developing the rudiments of a social life. Awkwardly and mostly as a peripheral to other people's, but when I do go out, much less time is devoted to being terrified and convinced everybody wants me to go away. Also no crying afterward!

4. Trying to turn into more of a positive person that people can actually like. Focusing on the negative is easier and safer, but positive people are more fun and have more fun. This is a long haul, but having a little more energy makes it easier to actually pay attention to how I am phrasing stuff.

5. This is much less important, but I have tiny rats. They are adorable and almost big enough to put into the cage with the big boys (they need to get fat enough not to fit between the bars first). Living things are pretty cool. Also very sniffy.

I am still basically a hobbit and it is still winter, but maybe this year's hibernation can be a happy one and not that of an angry badger.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Mostly because I have been figuratively working my butt off. Literally, it remains stubbornly present. But I am having a very good day.

It is pleasant out, if grey, I worked 14 hours yesterday to finish up a piece that I don't hate, and my weight is at the lower end of its current range. I -am- running on about 6 hours of sleep, but even that doesn't suck too much. Also, my girlfriend has been in a consistently good mood for several days running, something we do not take for granted in depression-land.

I have bought myself around a day of not feeling too terribly guilty if I'm not painting constantly, at least. I will actually show you the art eventually, but one of the things about commissions is that usually you can't put them up right away.

My body composition seems to be slowly rearranging itself towards an end result of looking like a Phil Foglio character, which is weird as hell. This does mean that none of my clothes fit and I get to spend the rest of the weekend sewing, but that is not so bad. Also, my tiny garden is doing well.

Today I am happy and I actually remembered to write it down - hurrah!

How're you guys?
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Redyed my hair today for the first time since winter lowered its icy dome. Finally feeling a little bit more like myself again. It’s been brown all winter! I simply haven't been able to bring myself to put forth the effort until now.

Unfortunately, I also knocked the lenses out of my glasses and put them in backwards the first time. Didn’t work out what was wrong till I started getting a headache.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I'm coming out of the midwinter blear much earlier this year, whether it's from exercise or systematic use of my light or just because nothing is actively on fire. This leaves me in the bizarre situation of being able to look February, the very worst month of the year, right in the face.

And right now it's not so bad. This makes me...suspicious.

The weather is grey but not so awful that I can't walk to the gym, I've finally found a workout rhythm that's not actually fun but doesn't make me feel quite as sick, Project Eat All the Pantry Food is going pretty well and I haven't been found comatose in a pile of chips and jelly beans, and I have a handful of illustration commissions going on. I'm definitely still having days of crushing despair, but a lot of my days are downright pleasant. Something must be going on.

Till whatever it is breaks, however, I'm going to sit in here with my mug of coffee and stare out at the snow. Today: 1/2 day of brainless writing, followed by drawing up the linework for an Odin portrait and finishing out the detailing on a Tree of Life. If I'm feeling tremendously energetic, I'll go to ballroom dancing at the LGBT center where [livejournal.com profile] samadi volunteers.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
The annual bout of "I should throw everything away and live out of a backpack" has begun again, largely spurred by Just Being Too Tired. Honestly, the apartment is in halfway decent shape, compared to historical lows, but the clutter is starting to get to me and all I want to do is sleep. I could be asleep right now! Why am I not doing that?

I would, of course, hate actual minimalism and bring home piles of miscellaneous stuff almost immediately. Plus, there's only so far I can pare down unless I want to start limiting the art I can do, and that way lies doom. This season also encourages work shenanigans; I find myself pondering options with a lot more risk, such as writing a short story or doing some high dollar articles on spec. That's not so bad in and of itself, but I want to do it because it sounds like less work. This is a. not true, and b. not a very good way to ensure that I can pay my rent this month.

On the bright side: I am up and dressed, and there is the potential of very sweet, milky coffee in the kitchen. The laundry level has become such that I have no other option but to do it, and I am nearly finished with a small sewing project. Also, as of a few weeks ago, I managed to fix the major graphics program issues that kept me from using Ubuntu as my primary OS. This is much more comfortable!

I want to be able to show you folks some art instead of just reporting on my mental health for Future Grace, but it's all half finished. So instead, here's a half-assed picture of Hawkeye as Red Sonja that I put on Tumblr.

Dear brain

Dec. 20th, 2012 12:01 pm
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Can we stop flipping out about every social interaction we have? Seriously, in the past three days you have been convinced that I am offensive whenever I speak, boring and banal, overly timid and excessively pushy. Now you're bleeding that into IM conversations with old friends and random interactions with my SOs. I'm running out of things I can say without making you flinch and it really is making me boring. Stop now.

(I'm actually doing pretty fantastically for midwinter, but what the heck?)
gracedpalmer: (Default)
So there's two reasons I might not be updating in the winter. One is that I'm doing so badly I can't remember words and the other is that I'm doing surprisingly well and have my hands full with that. This year it is the other one, she says for the edification of future Grace.

In fact, the past few days have involved a workday well over quota (to make up for several under quota and the need to get on airplanes, but nevertheless,) a full kitchen clean, building a shelf in the kitchen out of miscellaneous scrap, putting my sofa up on legs, cleaning up some of the apartment flotsam and doing my laundry when I didn't strictly have to. Dunno what's going on, but I'll take it.

Things not done: fiction writing, as much extra quota as I really should be doing, fridge cleaning, backlogged personal and gift art. So it's not like I'm completely responsible.

In other news, I will be getting on an airplane (aargh) to go to San Antonio (aargh) over Thanksgiving (argleargh) to go see Seth (yay!) who supposedly has all the sunlight and warmth these days (additional yay, but not apparently at any time except during winter (argh)). This happens Tuesday and I am trying to juggle all the appropriate kittens to make sure that I get on my bus on time (I fear public trans for a number of silly reasons) and don't get attacked by the TSA (hello mandatory patdown).

I'm also drinking a -lot- of coffee this year. Hopefully the springtime wean won't suck too badly.

Today, cleaning horrible rat cage, finishing the dishes, cutting out a sewing project the TSA won't confiscate, filling my mp3 player and making sure that I have both a phone and a charged battery. Also lots of cooking and freezing to prevent new life from growing in my fridge while I'm gone.

I think I might finally like my apartment.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
for my own records )
gracedpalmer: (blorp)
Depression is always more frustrating when you're doing everything right. I've been eating relatively well, getting decent sleep, and it's been bright and glorious. I went on a 2 mile+ walk on non-even terrain and hung out with friends yesterday. I've been doing tolerably at work (woo, rating is back up early!) and getting cleaning/organization and sewing done. The result? Today I woke up bad at being alive and my brain is chanting evil things at me.

Feeeeehhhhh.

Brian chemistry does not get to rule the day. I have declared it.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I often intend to talk about my crazy and how it works here, in the spirit of other people's illuminating posts on the subject. I frequently don't, because it feels tremendously self-indulgent, or because the aforementioned crazy gets in the way. However, this afternoon's bout is nicely illustrative of one of the most important skills I've learned for staying semi-functional: determining whether my current spate of emotional problems is caused by a real event, or merely latching on to it on the way by.

******

Me: Well, it's Friday, so that means Other Gig, plus fiction and illustration. No First Gig, especially since First Gig seems to be on fire.

Also Me: Inertia. Distress, unformed anxiety, randomized guilt.

Me: Oh? Well, let's have a slow morning. Why don't I have a look at this winter present list for a while and play some Glitch. And I'll pull up Other Gig and keep it in a window to remind me that I need to work on it.

Also Me: We can't buy presents, you fool! First Gig is exploding!

Me: Well, yes, but we have Other Gig. Also, Old Job, test grading, at-home tech support like jmpierce does, variations of First Gig from lookalike companies and Captel if stuff gets really bad. Plus, we've been meaning to get the portfolio in better shape and start looking for magazine jobs. You know, like a Real Freelancer.

Also Me: We can't be a real freelancer. Are you an idiot? We fail at everything. Fear! Fearstressanxietyborderlinetears!

Me: Oh. Hmm. Well, let's see about getting the laundry in, taking some advil, and doing that food thing we've been putting off. That should take care of anxiety from lack of accomplishment, anxiety as a fever side effect and hypoglycemia.

Also Me: Oh, peanut sauce.

Me: Okay, food helps. So, now let's figure out how much we have to do at Other Gig to match what we've been making at First Gig. Bah, we've done way more work than this before. Wallet will be fine.

Also Me: Fear! Stressfailurefeartears!

Me: So, what exactly is the issue here? We could be working right now to alleviate that whole lack of money/failure problem, except you're too busy being upset. Have we got any racing thoughts about what's going to go wrong?

Also Me: Generalized unhappiness.

Me: Okay, how about specific fear?

Also Me: Despair!

Me: Ahhh. Well, why don't I just turn on the light box and see what I can get done today, then. You're clearly no help.

(format stolen from hermitgeecko)

******

The stress over job stuff is definitely real. They say that changing jobs is apparently stressful on par with moving, divorce and a death in the family. But given the fact that I'm just generally upset, no matter what I do, I'm gonna call this one chemically induced by winter, hormones, illness or some combination of the three, and attempt to limp on. The phase will pass, and it will suck quite a lot while it's here, but there's not a lot that will shift it for now.

It has taken me years and years of prodding the bit that hurts to see what happens in order to learn to do this. Frankly, it's not always accurate. Most often, I think a mood is situational when it is chemical. Occasionally, like much of last year, I will mistake a lingering malaise for a chemical one when I am in a low-level bad situation.

Nevertheless, I think that if I hadn't learned to do this, I would either be dead or living with my grandparents. Because mistaking your chemical issue for real ones makes it way more likely that you'll go with the flow and get more upset. That physically encourages your brain to favor certain awful mood paths over good ones, so you're actually more likely to get depressed. Plus, you don't get a whole lot done, and people think of you as a hysterical flake.

I still don't get anywhere near as much done as I would if my brain worked properly. Working or playing through this kind of funk/twitchiness is a bit like getting through your day if you have the kind of pain caused by random nerve firing. (Caveat: that issue has occurred to me only a few times, and always briefly, as the consequence of a short term injury. I do not know what it is like to live with neurological problems on a daily basis. I am guessing.) You go ahead and keep moving because what the hell else are you going to do?, but the process is slow, unpleasant and much more tiring than it would be on a sane day. Also, some days are just really bad, and result in an afternoon spent keening and rocking. The best you can do is keep those rare.

Anyhow, the writeosphere awaits. Somebody needs to know how to repair their rotisserie, and I get to tell them. Whee!

(PS: Avoid ordering important things, like computers, around a holiday that's likely to interrupt shipping. Because, argh!)
gracedpalmer: ((default))
I...just made coffee without putting any coffee in the pot. Oh, week, please spare me.

The weather is not being kind to me. This week has seen a mood drop, an increase in generalized feverishness and assorted sick, and a constant headache that have almost eliminated the extra work I did last week. I am at least improved over yesterday, however.

Also in the land of weird dilemmas/happy things: I got a 12" Cintiq. It is beautiful and wonderful and it makes drawing a lot faster. Tests later today to figure out just how much faster, but it'll mean I won't have to put together the design digitally, then print it out because of the imprecision of my tablet, draw on the printout in pencil, scan it in, repeat ad nauseum.

There is a catch, however. You see, my computer is very, very old. The case is probably 10 years old, the motherboard and video card six. Other components are variously aged. The Cintiq is made to run as a dual monitor, but only if you have a graphics card new and nice enough to include two outputs. I can currently use it by itself, but it is not really big enough to handle writing or watching movies or any of the other things I like to do at the same time as drawing. Also, I have this huge farking monitor here that needs to be used.

So, given the age of the entire computer, I am faced with a dilemma. Do I find a graphics card that will work on my antiquated motherboard and squeak by for a little while longer, or do I move up that whole-computer rebuild I have been considering for ages but didn't want to do right this minute?

The proper thing to do would be the rebuild, but it's a complete rebuild, and it's gotten pretty hard for me to track computer hardware of late. Also, that's really quite expensive and more than I was planning to spend just now. Mr. Cintiq was spendy enough. I could buy a new comp outright, but I'm a control nut and that sets my teeth on edge a bit. I am unsure. Perhaps I just need to find my momentum and write a whole damned lot. The accountant does like it when I buy things I can write off.

For now, back to trying to make coffee and something for lunch. The theme of all my meals for the past 14 hours or so seems to be "whee, peanut sauce!" At least keeping the wok hot means that it's not quite so cold in here.
gracedpalmer: ((default))
Somewhere along the line, Leonard Cohen became comforting. This is a great improvement over my liking his poetry, but tending to become suicidal if I listened to him too long. I am going to steal [personal profile] matociquala's titling style for a while, because it's way easier than coming up with my own.

The morning is lovely, if entirely too cold, and I woke up exhausted again. I am a firm believer in the power of sleep, but this is become absurd. If you're listening, meat: I have things to do! And while you're at it, kick the brain chemistry and tell it to give my self-worth and momentum back. Nevertheless, there shall be a shower, and I shall specifically put on clothes I like in an effort to kickstart things. If the meat continues to disobey, there may have to be makeup. Winter, it's the season of femme.

I would very much like to finish some of the things I have been talking about, so that I can show them to you instead of just nattering. Wouldn't that be a change? Don't currently hate the piece I was working on last night enough to delete it, so maybe it will happen.

I am told the Cintiq is in the mail. Hurrah!

Once again, the news makes me want to crawl into a hole. And I haven't even seen people being asses about it yet today. Also filled with the conviction that everything I post is an annoyance. That's been going on some weeks, and it's been a struggle not to just delete everything. As with the reason I vote, I shall continue to post out of sheer belligerence and to prove that I can.

And then I realize I just compared LiveJournal to a basic human right, and it's definitely time to take that shower.
gracedpalmer: ((default))
Which, I suspect, is a nice way of saying "why are you skulking in the bushes with a butter knife?" (The painters earlier this summer painted all my windows shut from the outside and I was prying them open). He helped me get the really bad one open, though, so now I can have storm windows again.

Have spent morning and early afternoon working on pagan devotional art, waiting for sick girlfriend to wake up. Not looking forward to dark @ 5 pm. (sunset at 4:38, technically. Daylight savings time, thou art my nemesis.)

Now, back to work.

Oh, oh my.

Nov. 5th, 2011 12:18 pm
gracedpalmer: ((default))
So, I've been sick and sleep-depped for as long as my tiny memory stretches back. In matters that are of course totally unrelated, I've been consuming what is for me quite a lot of caffeine. Last night, Mere and I had a "we are so sick; we are taking the night off, eating bad food and watching Bab 5" night. I slept somewhere close to 12 hours, melatonin-aided.

Then, I got up to nice sunshine, had a long slow morning and ate two slices of pizza. I also, as a matter of course, finished off the diet Mountain Dew that was sitting on my desk. Adequate sleep+food+light+caffeine mean that I am suddenly WIRED.

I'ma go clean the closet now. (I will not: start a new corset, reorganize all my fabric, disassemble the pantry, learn to make ice cream, start an ambitious piece of art or write a novel.) Wheeeeeeeeee!
gracedpalmer: ((default))
I've suspected it for years, but this time I'm actually lucid enough to be sure; I'm a different person in the winter. As I find myself ever more neophobic, more irritable, more easily upset by the Internet (I didn't need two separate posts about how fat people aren't working hard enough and feminists are just crazy), and generally tired, I can't help but want to crawl in a hole.

Winter me is easily agitated, anxious, doesn't like trying new things and isn't into leaving home very often. She tends to eat easy, familiar foods, since I can't guarantee that I'll be able to cook the groceries I buy, or if I cook them, that I'll clean up after. Winter me reads more books, makes less artwork, and sews a whole lot. She also gets distracted halfway through a lot of projects and is terrible about house maintenance. She cries a lot. She sleeps even more. I can't say I'm really looking forward to being that person again, but short of developing the kind of income that lets me move to the southern hemisphere for six months, that's how it's gotta be.

That said, things aren't not too bad this year. Objective reports say I'm in way better shape thus far, and I'm not the winter person entirely yet. It's just as grey and horrible out as yesterday, and I'm just as sick, but work was far easier. I've managed to do my laundry, clean up the kitchen a bit, and am even looking at writing a bit of fiction. If only I don't get laid out by a fever again tonight. There's such a thing as too much Glitch.

Have made some distressing observations about my main writing gig that suggest I oughta start shopping around for other things, and draw more, stupid. No immediate explosions, but a lot of Stupid Management Decisions that seem designed to make people disgruntled enough to leave.

After a long, confused weekend, I found [profile] moments_away's kameez sleeve, so that's one project that can go out the door shortly. I keep saying I need to take pictures of all my sewing, but of course I never do. Got a bunch of Elizabeth Bear books out of the library and will read them any minute now, I swear. Probably in a huge, absurd binge, the way I seem to read things now. I remember reading just a chapter or two at night before bed, but dimly, as in a dream. ^_^

Anyhow, Winter Hobbit out. There's ice cream to eat and fiction submissions to finish.

Uff.

Oct. 14th, 2011 11:00 am
gracedpalmer: (stupid)
This has been a Week. On Saturday, some AT&T guys installing my upstairs neighbor's internet decided to unplug mine, despite the fact that it wasn't anywhere near hers (or so said the fellow who fixed mine yesterday). So, I spent five days in 1996, and was glad I'm enough of a cranky old lady that I'm not storing everything in the cloud. Movies on disk and real books improve things mightily. Time till I heard anything from AT&T? Four days. Then we had to convince my cranky apartment manager to come over and let the repairman into the basement, which he wouldn't do till the next morning.

Work was at [profile] samadi's place on Ethyl, my 9" EeePC. Ethyl is not really made for long-term typing, so I'm behind quota pretty much every day this week. At this point, I am just going to give up, pull another half day today, and try to work on fiction/drawing. Should be able to make up most of the quota that way, editors willing and all.

For the other thing is happening, which is that it's definitely fall and it's definitely getting dark at 6:30 and aaargh. I have become Sleep-Bot, she who does nothing but snooze. Didn't make it up till 10:30 this morning and I could happily go right back, were there not Rules against that sort of thing. Fall is not a thing of dread this year, which I suppose is nice, but it is a thing of extreme weariness, and being sleepy all the time is not fun for me, fun for other people, or making me very productive. Also, it's constant cold season, plus exciting feverishness.

Things I have managed to do: Pull 50 to 75% of quota every day this week, despite lack of lifestream internet. Watch a lot of William Hartnell-era Who. Nearly finish a kameez for [profile] moments_away. Go on several walks in the outside-sunshine-place. Take many naps and try not to be very sick. Do laundry, do a bunch of portrait heads for drawing practice. Drink more coffee than is my usual wont.

Theoretically I'm going to Kenosha on Saturday for a Donato lecture. I was going to be there for a two-day workshop, but not enough people signed up and it was canceled, which makes me sad. Going seems hard and not worth it, but I should do this anyway. October is too early to turn into a lump entirely.

And now, getting up, shower, breakfast, more writing, do stuff. Aaaaany minute now.
gracedpalmer: (trogloblorp)
It seems my hindbrain has decided it's autumn. I suspect this is because the available light has reached a level about equivalent to late March. I am in much better spirits than during that time of year, but it is having some side effects.

1. I want to sleep a lot. Naps have gone back to being an hour plus. This would be fine, except that I am also having nightmares during, and I need to start getting up earlier and earlier as the sunset comes earlier. I am not looking forward to the doom that is Daylight Saving Time.

2. Moods are a bit random. I've been low in the mornings and highly distractable, but not completely depressed. For instance, today I have reorganized my closet, done some quickie repairs on my bed (won't last, sadly - come spring I need to either build or buy a new one), rotated my mattress (which weighs more than some people) and put a coat of shellac on the worn spot in the floor. I'll need to continue doing stuff for most of tonight, because we're currently in the exciting torn-apart stage of the apartment.

3. While I think it's fall, the weather does not. This has resulting my being convinced I need socks and boots when it's 85 degrees.

In good news, shucking more stuff - eventually I may have few enough belongings to finally fit in this shoebox. Less good news - my kitchen still sucks. ^_^;

Tonight:
Clean under bed
Finally put last of window screens in
Clear the floor enough to move round in
Take AC, box fan, baby food jars to curb for scavengers?
Read sample text for next commission once too tired to clean.

Tomorrow:
Help [profile] moments_away get new glasses, since hers broke in half
Acquire groceries
Drive to Rockford to pick up [profile] samadi and [profile] jmpierce, meet [profile] whymc for dinner after Adin & Christina's wedding weekend
Attempt to prevent fiery death in Labor Day traffic

Being self-employed and working at home means that most major holidays have become times when no one's online and you can't park outside your own building.
gracedpalmer: ((default))
Ugh. Woke up this morning out of a dream in which I'd murdered someone, hidden the body and was trying to figure out how best to lie in court about it. All sorts of nastiness. Thankfully, the haze from that is finally clearing, but it does have me out of sorts.

Current writing schedule gives me one day off to play with this week, as long as I make sure I spend a significant amount of it doing something useful. I am tempted to take it today, as it has occurred to me that the only reason my CPU is on the right of my desk, where it blocks the window, is that there used to be a bookshelf to the left. I could move the CPU to a vacant spot on the baker's cart pretty easily. Of course, then I think that it'd be awfully good to figure out how to hook up my computer's front USB ports (the case and motherboard are different ages, which makes this complex), and then I think how much I need to clean and reorganize the kitchen...

Well then, best to keep this under control, since I've done some sewing this morning and made the bed, but am actually not wearing clothes yet.

In good news, 3 weeks after IUD removal, I think my mood is partially better. I have less desire to play video games and read a lot of online manga, and more desire to clean things and make art. Unfortunately, anxiety and depression, while less, have not really cleared. Food is still wonky, can't track my weight because the batteries on my scale went out. Made 10 meals worth of black bean/corn/veggie chorizo enchiladas last night, so at least I know what I'm eating this week.

Yes; today shall be a day of cleaning things, possibly with a hardware store trip. The apartment is somewhat awful and it has been bothering me for a while. Just have to make sure I don't half-clean, then run out of energy.

Now, off to a shower; I have a fluffy new towel for the first time in 6+ years!
gracedpalmer: ((default))
Greetings! I am having imitation Indonesian food tonight - noodles and stirfried veggies with spicy peanut sauce, which I made a little too limey, I think. While boiled egg and peanut sauce are probably the Best Thing, I am willing to admit a place for crispy tofu. If I am clever, I will put some of this in my bento box for tomorrow instead of stuffing it all in my face tonight. I have been entirely too lax in reinitiating Project Lunchpack, and I eat more vegetables when I bother to bento.

In non-dinner news, today I went to the polls and civicked properly. There's a state Supreme Court race and a county commissioner race (Scott Walker's old job), and this is one of the few ways I can actually do anything. Plus, I am belligerent about voting.

Also visited the church store on the corner. Acquired some kitchen stuffs, including a new candy thermometer. Then to fabric store and resale store, where I acquired some lovely blue and purple quilting cotton for re-covering my comforter (a compromise between making one from scratch and trying to find one for sale that I didn't hate), some relatively good chocolate and some high end vanilla extract I would not otherwise have purchased. I'd say I wouldn't be able to afford it, but this is not strictly true. I can afford many things, largely by virtue of not buying very many of them. ^_^

I have been curiously low energy and depressed this evening, but am pressing onward regardless. The result is that I have 1. Feeling of Accomplishment, with which to combat the blargh. Not really sure why the blargh is here in the first place; it was fantastically sunny today. When I got back home, the afternoon sunbeams were coming in my windows and setting the room aglow. This brings me much glee.

Had a good tabletop game, followed by a good round of scrounging (heavy duty milk crate, working air conditioner for [profile] moments_away, miscellaneous shelvage) Sunday night. Weekends are getting hard on me - I've been staying up late, but I also don't like sleeping in anymore. I envy all the people I know who can get by on 6 or 7 hours of sleep and still feel ok.

I'm gonna go A. sew, B. make bento, C. put away my laundry, D. look up spice rack plans, and maybe E. put tulle all over my windows.

My spiderweb fabric shed in the dryer. All things are now glitter.
gracedpalmer: ((default))
So! I've had myself a longish weekend. Went down to Waukegan to visit [profile] ladydrake and go to a costumed showing of Labyrinth on Friday. I have photos, but am lazy at the moment and not posting them. Also having some appearance issues, as sometimes happens with pictures. I will get over them eventually.

As my little purple corset has been on its way out for a while, I am making a new, more properly constructed one from its corpse. Coutil strength layer and steel boning this time, instead of misc sport solid and cable ties. On the plus side, that underbust has lasted me roughly 3 years. Making this one a little taller to see if it'll fight with my bra a little less.

For my own reference:
Have been depressed for the past several days, probably for most of the last week, judging by my groceries situation and the number of dirty dishes in the sink. Momentum very low, though not in a lot of emotional pain. Condition of apartment makes me want to set it on fire and start over. Eventually I'll get enough momentum to clean it properly.

2 weeks to the equinox. Also just about 2 weeks till the time change, which I hate. It doesn't matter which way it goes - time change always makes me really weird. At least I'm getting more evening sun this time.

Time to get moving.

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