gracedpalmer: (Default)
Oh, Internet, Internet...

(It occurs to me that years of article-writing has me capitalizing that automatically. Yet they tell me that the AP Stylebook and the NYT have abandoned it. Shall I have to re-train myself?)

Anyhow, this has been a Day. Turns out the guy who was in charge of scheduling the plumber, and who called me on Friday (we're about four person-who-calls-a-person deep now) told me wrong. I was up at 7:30 today, my god, my god, and no plumber appeared. He/she/they are due tomorrow instead.

I've got a print order to fill, and set up the big printer accordingly, at which point it informed me that it was dangerously low on ink. I promptly ignored this and it printed two very nice images, which are safely signed and packed away. What the printer did not wish to do, after the way of its kind, was print the very simple shipping label immediately afterward. I will be forced to buy new ink remotely and send M out to pick that up tomorrow.

Since my fight with Etsy and then the printer was futile, I had another round of angrily moving things. It turns out that I can find spots for a surprising amount of stuff if I'm just adequately pissed off at it. I've got access to my desk chair again and I've unpacked the tower; after this I'll just need to actually build/acquire a desk. Preferably one no more than 16 inches deep, which may be a challenge.

I wrote another $40ish worth of article, which hopefully was not in the Incan monkey god's simple but beautiful language, flatted Morpheus while watching B99 with my Wisconsin buddies, and was rewarded with the gift of Korean blackberry wine by M. My mood is oscillating wildly.

Poor L went through a bureaucratic mess today to get her car registration up to date and legal in WA, and was promptly pulled over by a cop 20 minutes later. May the little god of stupid coincidences still be with us tomorrow, when our heroes try to get the plumbing fixed, print a goddamned label, call back after a job interview and mail a package.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Okayyy, so today was a challenge! 90 degree weather is no one's friend and I am currently real happy to live in a little hole in the ground. I actually did not feel as bad as I might have, though the roomies were both knocked pretty flat (they also get weather migraines, but they don't have meds for 'em).

I've just been a bit crazy and sort of wound, which isn't the best when you can't actually move around much. At one point I just went in a circle in the living room, before I scuttled back here cause it was too hot out there. This did, however, lead to productivity.

I managed to do a reasonably detailed sketch from scratch, including lots of reference gathering, and wrote a 325 word article that netted me $16. Got a real live standing-up shower, which did wipe me out but was possible. Moved a few boxes around for more floor space, took five whole steps without the walker, checked CL on M's behalf for jobs, tried to research fat-friendly PCPs and then gave up again, and did some impromptu career-planning with L. Now I am winding down, cause there's a plumber due at 8:30 am and that is not a time in which I am usually conscious.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Late (a bit too late) last night I finished up my current big commission, and that client wasn't likely to pay the invoice for the next one till this evening. Thus, I had the day to do things that weren't painting-for-money.

I had hoped that I would get to do some sketching or speed drills (I don't want to do speed drills, but good god am I slow...). Unfortunately, today turns out to have been eaten up by admin work and attempting to wrangle social media. My god is social media exhausting, even though I barely post, post almost nothing but artwork, and barely interact. And now it looks like a lot of the people I wish to read are attempting a migration to Mastodon, which is just baffling as a service.

If you are wondering, dear reader, Dreamwidth doesn't really count. It's not quite social media as we've come to understand it, and the pace on my feed is very much slower. Also, the risk of accidentally getting picked up in a site search by hateful minions is much, much smaller.

I may still manage some sketching tonight if I can force productivity rather than mindless video games. And thus far today, I've:

- done all the appropriate repetitive steps to get old art into postable format
- reactivated my Etsy store and put up all the art from the past few months
- made (unfortunately ambiguous) post on Twitter announcing same
- made post on Tumblr, DA, etc announcing same (different formatting concerns!)
- reformatted most recent commission and sent print file to client
- invoiced said commission plus deposit for next one
- performed job opportunity search for girlfriends
- collated said opportunities into emails
- stared at Mastodon, willing it to make sense

Which all feels like it ought to have taken like, an hour or two. But lo, it was more like five or six.

Also today: Meredy made me really good fried potatoes, it has rained in a really pleasant-sounding way all day, and my extremities are attacking.

Considering renaming this account and going pseudonymous again, since it's about 10-15 years too late to be an effective place to show off art.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Instead I played video games for a period of time in excess of 16 hours. After which I got very angry at my room for still being a mess, my furniture for being in the way of unpacking, and my body for being broken in so many ways. And now my bed is on the other side of the room where it should be and I can start trying to figure out where things go.

Success?
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I am somewhat less sick today, though it was a near thing earlier.

1. I made it to the orthopedic surgeon for a check up. My bones are all in the right place but still broken, apparently. I am to continue to stay off the ankle for another week, then switch to the walker or crutches and put gradually more weight on it. This is frustrating, but there are worse things. I miss walking!

2. I slept badly last night, with a round of our fun fibro-related friend, mandatory anxiety attacks. No matter what you might want to think about, you will come up with the worst possible scenario and spend the night sweating and full of doom-thoughts. This did not make the wake-up for the doctor my very favorite.

3. Upon returning to my den post-doctor, I endeavored a nap. Apparently this is a mistake, 'cause I woke up with a crushing migraine and a buncha fibro stuff. That cleared up around 5 or so, and I got a tolerable 4ish hours work in today.

4. I am out of chocolate muffins. Boo. I shall need to convince M to do some shopping for me soon, or else bite the bullet and order grocery delivery.

-----

1. My head does -not- hurt much anymore and I should be allowed to actually walk in some form in about another month. Work went ok after I could see straight. Tonight seems like it'll be all right!
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Generalized pain level is pretty damned high today, so I write this in lieu of a real post.

Ow.

Too late

Jun. 7th, 2017 11:17 am
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Well, I definitely missed posting yesterday. Also failed at doing any unicorn drawing, since I started losing my oomph around 7 pm and then a migraine hit. Didn't remember that either existed till about midnight or so.

In actual accomplishments: another job app in for Mere, flats done on my current commission plus some flailing at a background, and two whole posts to Instagram without choking. My family has turned up on there, which is a matter of some consternation. Thankfully it's a feed I already self-censor on pretty heavily. Just a reminder to keep some pseudonymous accounts, I guess! (I wonder from time to time if I ought to pseudonym this one again, but I think that might only be a matter for concern if regular posting continues.

As I've become a more chronically ouchy person, weather has become a greater concern for me, and that's part of why I've run away from the midwest. Nevertheless, today's high is 20 degrees more than tomorrow's. I am not yet feeling it in the head regions, but fibro wants me to know it is here. Also, it possibly wants me to sleep for a week. I am going to try not to let it, cause there is work to be done!

Today, hopefully: One or more unicorn busts, lights and shadows in on Mithras, a round of work-at-home job research. Who knows if I'll succeed?!
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I am always and eternally playing catchup. But I've decided to participate in Junicorn-type things when I am not wiped out with commission work or health stuff. There are a few sketches in progress, but today I've just finished the one:

Unicorn via Instagram

Edit: first picture iteration failed; I've had to link to more modern social media for now.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I actually tried to write this earlier, but was stymied by weird difficulties in logging in AND the inability to change the password on the off chance I forgot it. Thus, you're going to get a less-wordy me this evening.

Highlights of the day: spending almost all of it playing Don't Starve: Shipwrecked. I have made it into year 2 for once.

Low points: Ankle, please do not engage in that sensation. It is helping no one.

Accomplishments: Presuming my video game mightiness doesn't count, I did manage to help Meredy get a resume revised and another job application in.

Unrelated: My Y key keeps sticking...
gracedpalmer: (Default)
It's still technically Saturday here, so this post is legitimate. I don't know if I'll actually write something every day, but it does seem like a good way to reduce my overall scaredness level.

Accomplishments: showed girlfriend how to clean a foundation brush (turns out it's the same as cleaning a paintbrush, mostly). Finished some sketches for my current commission, got my primary client to pick one out.

Health status: Mild headache, mild crazy, ankle still broken, fibro level: gentle fever and sore extremities. All in all, pretty good for me.

Happy things: still enjoying the validation of getting sketches done. Other girlfriend cooked me a very large frozen lasagna. Chocolate muffin for breakfast.

One week till the doctor tells me when I'm allowed to walk again.
gracedpalmer: (blorp)
Five things are meant to make a post, so here are five:

1. I am posting here because I need and intend to do necessary self-promo work for art on a daily basis. However, I also have social anxiety to the point that even posting to Twitter makes me do things like cry and hyperventilate a bit. Dreamwidth feels less like a fishbowl and more like a friendly void. I never had many followers and likely even fewer folks check in these days. This is practice.

2. Since I last posted here there have been many things, but one of the most relevant is probably developing chronic daily migraines in about fall 2015, and getting diagnosed with fibromyalgia Feb. 2017. It is nice to have some degree of treatment for the former, and for the latter to be an explanation for my increasingly frequent bouts of exhaustion and random pain over the years. Reader, I have been ill.

3. In an attempt to escape the weather-based components of the afore-mentioned illnesses, I moved Seattle-ward at the beginning of May. I spent 20 years in the midwest and I miss all of you. The west coast is weird and I am not entirely certain I believe in it yet. This may be improved when I can get out of the house.

4. Almost immediately after getting moved in, I stumbled walking down two tiny porch steps (not even mine) while looking for our mailbox (turns out to be hidden down a weird alleyway and attached to an entirely different building). I promptly broke my ankle. Thankfully, I'd signed up for Medicaid a couple days before. But I haven't been able to leave the house without great effort and significant assistance since then. My girlfriends were kind enough to build my bed for me, but I still can't unpack. So there's a whole summertime PNW out there, but I'm actually just in this basement right now. It's a nice basement, but somewhat full of frustration at the moment.

5. I live right next to the local community garden, and you bet I'm going to go out there and work when I'm finally allowed to walk again. It is so very pretty.

Take that!

Apr. 11th, 2014 12:08 pm
gracedpalmer: (Default)
At long last, and after many travails, I am finally sans gallbladder. Now I just have to wait for my belly to heal up and then deal with the tooth that randomly decided to die the night before surgery.

It's been an April.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
I have a habit of only posting on my livejournal when things are going pretty badly, because I am at home then and want to keep track of things. But right now a lot of stuff is going much better than it has been for a while.

1. I think I finally won brain-meds roulette. It seems that I have pretty bad luck with psych medications and their side effects. ie: Wellbutrin, which ought to be the best one for folks who have depression plus anxiety plus attention issues, made me cry for a week straight back in '04. Effexor made me loopy, panicky, sick, so tense it was painful, and briefly suicidal. A normal dose of Lexapro (10 mg) turns me into an emotionally numb sexless insomniac who can't be bothered to eat, has the attention span of a gnat, and freaks out every time someone slams the door.

No meds were causing me to constantly worry about whether getting ticketed or whether everyone hated me, plus doing anything took gobs of effort. Cutting my dose to 5 mg against the suggestion of my (moderately incompetent) psych has thus far allowed me to be a mildly distractable person with a lot more energy. I washed and hung up my laundry this morning without a half hour break in between. I had a terrible day on Sunday and it hasn't ruined the rest of the week. I'm still not highly functional, but I haven't been this clear-headed in years. I am suspicious...

2. I've done more art this year than I have in yonks. This is largely due to having a very enthusiastic commissioner, but it's still been really nice. There are many issues that I still have to deal with (indecision and fear when doing anything that's not a commission keep me paralyzed) but for once it feels like I might be able to do something about that.

3. Slowly developing the rudiments of a social life. Awkwardly and mostly as a peripheral to other people's, but when I do go out, much less time is devoted to being terrified and convinced everybody wants me to go away. Also no crying afterward!

4. Trying to turn into more of a positive person that people can actually like. Focusing on the negative is easier and safer, but positive people are more fun and have more fun. This is a long haul, but having a little more energy makes it easier to actually pay attention to how I am phrasing stuff.

5. This is much less important, but I have tiny rats. They are adorable and almost big enough to put into the cage with the big boys (they need to get fat enough not to fit between the bars first). Living things are pretty cool. Also very sniffy.

I am still basically a hobbit and it is still winter, but maybe this year's hibernation can be a happy one and not that of an angry badger.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
On meds attempt number two and beginning to despair for a number of reasons I won't enumerate here because I don't have them completely figured out. Getting about 4 to 6 hours of actual sleep per night is further complicating the attempt to actually do that. I am tempted to give up and go back to relying on exercise and coffee.

I have, however, been doing more things than I usually manage in October. One of them was going to the Griffin's Needle 24-hour costuming event in Madison. Here )are some photos of me being very tired and sewing things.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Today I wrote around 12,000 words, because you don't fuck with deadlines, even when your brain is running out your ears.

Now I get mulled cider with rum in and a day off.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Somehow it has become October without my consent. I am not entirely sure how this happened. This means that it is time to get out the Searing Blue Light of Functionality. Honestly, I should have had it out weeks ago, but it's been hectic.

Went to other doctors to try to manage my crazy. Left with Effexor prescription and without several vials of blood. The former was a very bad idea; let us simply say that Effexor is not for me, and that I am very happy to be able to stand up properly again and relax my muscles. If any of you guys do not have horrible issues with this med and happen to use the 75mg generic capsule, you should give me a poke. I will not be putting it in my body again.

Unfortunately, the person who gave it to me is not getting back in contact, which is very frustrating. I feel that she ought to at least be notified that I'm not on it anymore, and also I would like her to please suggest something else. I seem to have tremendously bad luck with brain meds.

In a fit of unnecessary optimism, I paid my entire estimated tax burden at once this year. Technically, I could wait until December to pay off a quarter of it, which is what I ought to have done. Now juggling work and bank transfers to make up for the foolishness of Past Grace.

Fat free diet has me literally dreaming about doughnuts and pizza, specifically about being surrounded by them at social gatherings and not being able to eat anything. That said, I have managed to find a reasonable number of tasty things over the course of the last month. I am just disappointed by being unable to butter them.

I also have two small new fuzzbutts around the house. The local humane shelter got 18! ratbabies in and I took home a pair of the most social boys. They are as yet unnamed but are Very Excited by everything.

Now back to writing cookbook introductions. This has been your "I don't want to work" interlude.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
1. Surgeon is definitely overcautious. I can eat around 2 to 3 grams of fat per meal without any issues whatsoever. This still keeps me from actually eating almost any prepared food, but makes things suck a little less.

2. Kava kava is a fail for me. Does not reduce anxiety, has bonus of making me woozy and sick.

3. The weather is fantastic and I want to frolic in it forever. I might, however, need to place a new Sock Dreams order.

4. Serious self worth problems of late. Attempting to fix them via ripping apart my closet and throwing a lot of stuff away. Am avoiding thinking about the enormous amount of work I have queued for next week.

5. Have eaten more cocoa krispies than appropriate. Send milk.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Consultation with surgeon today. He is adamant that I should not eat anything with -any- fat in until the nebulous time of gallbladder removal. Staff was gently baffled by the idea of lacking insurance.

One of the nurses suggested getting a part time job on top of freelancing to get benefits. I could not even begin to explain to her all the things that were wrong with that concept.
gracedpalmer: (Default)
Because I had what appeared to be the very worst case of heartburn, for about 8 hours straight. Apparently the real issue was in fact gallstones. I don't have any kind of infection or anything, so they would like me to avoid fat in general until I can get surgery. As I am a freelancer, that's not going to be until the ACA insurance kicks in during January.

Till then, it's going to be a lot like all those ill-advised fat free diets during the 90s. This could be tricksy, because basically everything I eat is on the "no" list.

Currently: Groggy and wobbly, almost like I was in the ER till 5 am and then put on Vicoden. Interesting discovery of the night: Morphine makes me wobbly, but otherwise does not work on me. Will be working from bed today.

Augh

Aug. 29th, 2013 10:10 am
gracedpalmer: (Default)
So I've been waiting a month to get to see an affordable doctor about the fact that my anxiety levels are through the roof and I'm exhausted all the time. It has been a really bad time trying to get to this appointment. They just cancelled on me.

This is going to be a pretty crappy day.

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